Ladies and gents, welcome back to Matty A’s aka MFC’s picks of the week. After last weeks record of 5-1 (the only loss coming because I’m a dumb homer and bet on the Irish), we’re looking to build that wealth and stack bills taller than Trump Towers. We’re doing categories again so here goes nothing.
1) Wake up, bake up, cake up bet: Minnesota (-18.5) over Rutgers, 12pm
If you ask me, there’s nothing better than waking up at noon on a lovely Saturday, lighting up a funny cigarette, and watching Rutgers get beat for the millionth time. This could be the week Rutgers actually beats the spread, but if we’re being honest, I’m betting against Rutgers vs. the spread for the rest of the year. This strategy hasn’t failed me yet and unless you’re blind, you’ve also probably realized that Rutgers doesn’t even belong in a JV high school game. Not too much thought put in here other than Rutgers sucks, but that should be enough here.
2) “How is this Line Real?” bet: Wisconsin (-3) over Iowa, 12pm
Seriously? Wisconsin just took OSU down to the wire and Iowa almost lost to Rutgers a few years back (refer to the above paragraph for my feelings on Rutgers). This is about the closest thing you’re going to find to a sure bet. Take it boys.
3) Afternoon Delight bet: West Virginia (-6) over TCU, 3:330pm
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the Big 12? Watching Big 12 football reminds me of playing the worst NCAA football video game ever created. No one gives a shit about defense, they run nothing but no huddle offense and pass on every down and don’t play real football. Plus, they will get crushed when they play a real team. Seriously, if either of these two teams were in any other power 5 conference, neither would even be .500. However, as fate may have it, both are in the Big 12 and both are above .500. I say take WVU here for one reason: this game is in Morgantown. You know, the same place where fans are notorious for throwing batteries at opposing fans and where they burn couches even after they beat D III schools. This is going to be a good game and Kenny Trill is gonna have a field day, but I like WVU to cover. They just look like an all-around better team.
4) The Team That Won’t Die bet: Arkansas MONEY LINE (+305) over Auburn, 6pm
Arkansas is just a real sleeper of a team. They’re annoying to play and harder to put to bed than a drunk college kid on a Friday. Auburn, on the other hand, is a disappointment yet again and really needs to can Gus Malzahn already. I figured the spread on this game would be around Auburn -2, but -10 is absurd. Arkansas has a fantastic chance of winning this game and the payout is no joke. We’re building a wall and your bookie is paying for it!!!
5) The Finish All the Beer, It’s Time To Hit The Bar bet: Ole Miss MONEY LINE (+205) over LSU, 9pm
Vegas has to be on the inside about what’s going on in the middle of the pack in the SEC. Ole Miss isn’t a bad team at all. They’ve just played some very tough teams (and messed up horribly in the 2nd half of the FSU game). LSU on the other hand is a steaming pile of shit. Frankly, I refuse to back this LSU team until they find a QB that’s capable of AT LEAST a 50% completion percentage. It’s too easy to game plan against them if all they’re gonna do is feed Fournette and watch him eat all game, especially if your defense is athletic and big as the Ole Miss D. Again, this is well worth the risk and should help the boys stack cake.
Let’s Eat, Fellas.