The Suburban High School Sports Team Playlist (Circa 2010)

Time to take a trip down memory lane back to around 2010. At this time, I was a (wannabe) high school sports star (ehh role player) in football, basketball, and lacrosse. Now, contrary to popular belief because I went to a Catholic high school, I played in Section 1 aka you’re going to play against a lot of white, suburban high school kids. Just a bunch of wannabe, fake tough guys / nerdy high school kids who think they’re going to make the NBA or NFL. I’d like to think I was not one of them because I knew I wasn’t even going to play in college, but you can be the judge of that.

Anyways, because of the statement I made above, you could guess the soundtrack of every team’s playlist before you even went to the gym. In late 2010, I was a senior in high school (fuck me , right) so I’m choosing the songs based on the times.  I’m sure you can find some of these songs at a high school today. If not, replace my songs with Drake, Future, and insert name here.

Let’s go.

Juelz Santana – The Second Coming

JUST BLAZEEEEEEEE THEY SAY A FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER. I picture this song as a football walk out / warmup song. You have the one hot shot on the team who’s nodding his head and rapping the words while slowly jumping around. I get it bro. You’re the starting RB and LB for your team. You have to have some swag so I get the move. This is also a classic dap up your boy song and say “Let’s get it baby” or “Ahhh let’s go.”

P.S. I bet you know at least 10 kids who used this for their high school highlight tape. I bet they used a cool transition after the words “JUST BLAZZEEEEE”

AC/DC – Hells Bells

This goes out to the coach on your team who is a sick fuck and still wishes he could play. Once you hear the gong, this coach is fully erect in his pants. “Now THIS is what I call a song!” Maybe he goes around and hits some of the players even though you are not having it. This coach is also the coach who goes on the field and has to be yelled at by the head coach to back up and sit on the bench in order to calm down.

Lil Wayne – Right Above It featuring Drake

Haters in the building. Drake was starting to show potential, but Lil Wayne was a steady force in the high school warmup game. You could’ve heard any song from Tha Carter III in a gym near you, but I’m going with this song strictly for the Facebook Status of All Facebook Statuses that took off this year.

“Life is a beach, I’m just playin the sand.”

Til I Collapse (or any Eminem song) – Eminem

“Hey man, who’s your favorite rapper?”
“Eminem.”

I’d say that was the answer for like 60% of your teammates. In all seriousness, Eminem is one of he greatest rappers ever (you can @ me on that one). This song is a banger and it gets you pumped the fuck up. I’m not the biggest believer in a song having a huge effect on a team, but if you’re not ready to run through a brick wall after this song, then you probably sat in the stands. You can also insert every other Eminem song in this slot and I’d totally accept it like Mom’s Spaghetti.

We Takin Over – DJ Khaled feat. Akon and Every Rapper Ever

It’s amazing to see how far DJ Khaled has come. I’ll go to my grave with the fact that Khaled’s “WE THE BEST” scream in We Takin Over was his best ever. This song definitely worked best in layup lines. If you were a “run around the court, high five, throw the ball off the backboard, and then go into lay up lines” type of team, this song was for you.

I Get Money – 50 Cent

I, I get it. I RUN NEW YORK. I was the king of just being the guy that said “I Run New York” because I didn’t know any of the other words. I’ll be clear. If this song was in your playlist, you better blow the other team out because this song SCREAMS cocky. So if you’re the kid that didn’t strap his back pad yet or does really intricate reverse layups, you better back it up or cease and desist on this song.

The Song Played When Teams Break The Huddle And Come Out For The Opening Tip

Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 400

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHH  OOOOOOOH OOOOOHHHHHH OHHH OHH

Nothing like a little Zombie Nation to get the blood flowing. Sandstorm is a close second for sure, but nothing beats the sound of a few fans in your home gym jumping up and down while saying “Oh’s” off beat. Shout out to the PA guy at your gym if he was able to turn off the music perfectly when the ball touches the hands of those jumping and then the crowd lets off a few claps upon the first couple dribbles (looking at you, mom).

Go back to a high school gym and enjoy the music before the game!

On second thought, don’t do that. High School may be forever for some of you, but you can’t relive high school in prison.

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