If You Actually Liked Yesterday’s Blizzard, I Hate You

on

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Winter Storm Stella, You Son of Bitch.

So if you lived in the Northeast, you were pummeled with snow yesterday and I mean pummeled. Never seen anything like it in recent memory. Just an onslaught of snow, wind, and freezing temperatures.

Which brings me to the title of this blog: If you actually liked yesterday’s blizzard, I hate you. How does anyone with a brain like what happened yesterday? How? It’s unreal. To quote the great fashion designer Mugatu, “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.” I’m not a snow guy whatsoever. I don’t ski or snowboard. I barely go sledding. Hell, I’m not a fan of putting on snow mode in Madden. Snow sucks.

Let’s start with the obvious reason: shoveling. FUCK SHOVELING. I understand it’s a necessary evil because you can’t go anywhere if your driveway is covered in snow, but man does it suck. I usually tag team with my dad so that’s what we did yesterday. It usually takes a little over an hour for the driveway, walkway, and back deck. So once we finished that, we had to help the older couple across the street. Figuring I needed good karma, I helped out so add another 45 minutes. Then we helped the family next door to us. Once again, needed good karma, so I helped out. Add another hour. I was outside for just about 3 hours. THREE HOURS.Did I mention we had to go back out later for round 2? My total for the day was 4 hours. I need a new back and some legs in order to get me by these next couple of days.

Next reason: Snow is the biggest inconvenience ever. It truly is. All it does is keep you inside and ruin your plans. I’m not saying I had huge plans yesterday, but cabin fever took over quickly and there was nothing I could do about it. Trapped like I was in a prison with heat, food, and internet. Life is tough.

Now, I’m not always a grinch. Snow is good for two things and two things only.
1) Christmas Day
2) Canceling Work / School

That’s it. I like a White Christmas as much as the next person. I also love when I don’t have to travel to work so in that case, another win for your boy. But other than that, snow can take a hike.

Why would I want to be cold, pale, and miserable in the winter when I could be warm, tan, and happy in the Summer? It’s a no brainer to me. Goodbye snow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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