Leo Dicaprio, Kate Winslet, and Billy Zane Had A Titanic Reunion To (Ironically) Save Icebergs

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The gang is back together to save the icebergs! Gotta love it. Love that they raised money for a good cause, but let’s get into the real reason why I’m writing this: Titanic.

Titanic

There are two movies I will always watch when they are on television. One is The Dark Knight. The second is Titanic. If Titanic is on tv, all of my plans are put on hold. My name is DG and I think Titanic is one of the greatest movies of all-time. Absolutely ZERO shame saying that. It’s a disaster  / epic  / romance / action / thriller all wrapped up into one movie. The directing, the writing, the action. All of it was superb and deserved every Oscar it won.

You know the ending of the movie. The Titanic sank. But will Jack and Rose survive? I’m a loser, but I still try and find new ways for them to survive every time. Let me get this out of the way. Jack and Rose could NOT SHARE THE DOOR. The door would not be able to hold the both of them. I don’t care what this chalk drawing on land says.

James Cameron even said it could not happen.

“OK, so let’s really play that out: you’re Jack, you’re in water that’s 28 degrees, your brain is starting to get hypothermia. ‘MythBusters’ asks you to now go take off your life vest, take hers off, swim underneath this thing, attach it in some way that it won’t just wash out two minutes later – which means you’re underwater tying this thing on in 28-degree water, and that’s going to take you five to ten minutes, so by the time you come back up you’re already dead. So that wouldn’t work.”

HOWEVA *Stephen A voice*, there are ways they could’ve prolonged life. My biggest issue was the clothes they were wearing. Rose was wearing a paper thin night gown because they couldn’t wait to have sex when they got off the boat and had to do it in a car like high schoolers.

Titanic

Leo, being the bro that he is, gave Rose his jacket and had to go into the water with just a shirt on. He probably would’ve been better off naked. So if they happened to dress for the occasion aka wear some coats outside, maybe Jack would’ve lasted longer. Also, as my good friend Vince said, Rose should’ve just married Cal and cheat on him all the time with Jack. I don’t hate the move.

Let’s not forget about my boy Cal aka Billy Zane. BILLY ZANE MAN. What a legend. All my man wanted was for Rose to honor him and she had to run away with Leo…Yeah, I would follow Leo into the gates of hell. But Billy Zane will forever have one of the best lines in Titanic ever. That snake Cal tried to get on the boat by picking up a random child. Gold, jerry. Gold.

I’m sick of Titanic getting such a bad rep. Think about all of the shitty movies and sequels no one ask. You’d rather watch those over Titanic? “Bro, Titanic is a chick flick.” Shut up, dude. That argument works if you’re talking to your meathead friends at the gym. Not in real life.

Embrace Titanic for what it is. One of the best damn movies ever.

Did I mention it has one of the best songs ever?

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