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Jersey Shore Family Vacation Episode 4 Recap: Ron Ron Juice

Jersey Shore Family Vacation

Savage Ronnie is BACK. It took him a few episodes, but the guido version of Peter Pan was back last night. The episode started out with some fights, but the main attraction was Ronnie. Would Ronnie cheat on his pregnant girlfriend? Yikes, I feel horrible for writing that. Let’s get into the recap.

Season 1, Episode 4: “Ron Ron Juice”

 

– The beginning of the episode was so predictable. Vinny’s Twitter said it best.

Anyone not named Angelina would never leave this house. You can’t pass up that money and celebrity status and that’s exactly what you do if you leave.

– You knew the two fights would be resolved. Thankfully, Nicole apologized to JWoww first because she was totally in the wrong. However, it’s still awkward between Vinny and Snooki. Vinny even said that he understands where Jionni is coming from because anyone in Jionni’s shoes would want to kill Vinny. That’s human nature. That being said, it’s clear that Nicole wants to avoid Vinny more than the other way around. Like any ex-hookup, it comes down to trust. Can you trust yourself around the other person? Being that Snooki is married with two kids, I like to think she can so we’ll see if this fight resurfaces later on.

– GTL GTL GTL GTL GTL GTL GTL GTL GTL GTL GTL. Pretty typical GTL session except for the fact that Mike walks slower than my grandmother on the treadmill.

– Finally, it’s time for our star of the show to shine. RONNNNNNIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The biggest reveal of the night might have been when Ronnie dropped the recipe for Ron Ron Juice.

Ron Ron Juice

– A shit ton of vodka to the point where it can kill you
– Fresh watermelon
– Cranberry juice
– Ice
– 911 on speed dial

If you don’t think I’m trying that in the near future, you’re crazy. But, Ronnie used a lot of Grey Goose vodka for that recipe so since I’m not a baller, I’ll substitute it with Tito’s or Smirinoff.

– Pauly D is living the life. He has 3 wingmen and 3 wingwomen at his disposal. He has to do zero work to meet women. If only it were that easy…

– Deena the meatball fighter! If I were in the house, I would also find it annoying that Deena continues to defend Sam when she’s not there. It’s a doll and it’s a joke. No need to get in a fight with Ronnie when he’s had more to drink than Ric Flair.

– Is it weird that I don’t hate this outfit?

– Deena the fighter is back again! I love how it takes a big fight to unite the house. Snooki getting punched, Deena in the club, etc. Out of the darkness and into the guido light.

– Let me make myself loud and clear. I do not condone cheating on your significant other. I’ll take it one step further. I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER WHO IS PREGNANT. Ronnie is an asshole. Cheating is where I will draw a line in the sand and make no excuses for the cheater

HOWEVER

This is a reality television show and Ronnie’s antics are very entertaining. Sue me.

– Ronnie knows he’s doing something wrong and continues to do it anyway. We all know people who love to cheat on their significant other. I know it’s a horrible thing to say, but this is real life. What’s even more messed up is it puts the people witnessing the infidelity in an awkward situation. You know it’s wrong, but you still sit there and say “it’s not my business.” It’s a tough spot to be in and we’ve all been there before. Some people are addicted to doing the wrong thing. That’s reality. Ronnie is addicted to “being bad.”

– The hot tub. First of all, that was so wrong of Snooki to almost kill the other girl with vodka. Make your own drinks, folks. Don’t trust strangers.

– When you want to smoosh a random girl but realize you have a pregnant girlfriend.

– Ronnie should join the circus because he loves playing with fire. Our last scene saw Ronnie closing the door with the blonde girl. If I have to make a prediction, I’m saying that there will be kissing. We’ll get the classic subtitles from MTV when we hear noises. I don’t think Ronnie will have sex with her, but you honestly never know with him.

– Moral of the story: Add more ice to the Ron Ron Juice. See you next week.

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